We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
