I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
