my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
