Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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(785): View more from Kansas

That reminds me...we need to get swords

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(205): View more from Alabama

the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(909): View more from California

I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not

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(410): View more from Maryland

She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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(214): View more from Texas

you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences

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(203): View more from Connecticut

But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??

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