Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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(818): dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone? http://tfl.nu/1prq

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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(603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

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(262): I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends. http://tfl.nu/1qj3

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(863): View more from Florida

i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

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(863): i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him http://tfl.nu/mt9f

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts

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(403): i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts http://tfl.nu/x8b0

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(661): View more from California

So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

(818): View more from California

I hate you.

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(661): So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night? (818): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/ps95

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(440): View more from Ohio

I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.

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(440): I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues. http://tfl.nu/ej4i

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke

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(412): Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke http://tfl.nu/i48a

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(607): View more from New York

This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

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(607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr

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(727): View more from Florida

well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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(727): well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up. http://tfl.nu/6z0c

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(516): View more from New York

What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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(516): What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner? http://tfl.nu/aj21

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(515): View more from Iowa

nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying

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(515): nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying http://tfl.nu/wg7d

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(314): View more from Missouri

How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.

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(314): How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night. http://tfl.nu/t7tp

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(406): View more from Montana

Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you

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(406): Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you http://tfl.nu/uju1

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(917): View more from New York City

That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.

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(917): That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies. http://tfl.nu/z8d5

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