my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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