I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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