I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
