HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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