I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
