hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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