I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
