You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
