Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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