So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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