My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
