The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My liver just broke up with me...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
