so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
