If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
