Please, let me fuck your mom
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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