The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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