hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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