we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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