i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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