I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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