I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize