This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
