i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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