Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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