I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
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The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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