the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
