I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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