I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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