And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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