I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I wish there were birth control emojis
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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