Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
