the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
