I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
