dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
