Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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