I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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