I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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