I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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