you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
