An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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