He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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