Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
