All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
