The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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