I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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