Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
