Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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