So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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