SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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