He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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