where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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