Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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