Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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