Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
