Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
