im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
