At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
