At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
