i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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