Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
