If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
