That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
