Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sorry my hands just texted you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
