So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
