yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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